that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
