Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
