A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize