i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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