I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Actions speak louder than pants.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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