Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
