She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize