Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize