Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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