there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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