your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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