I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
false alarm, still single
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