its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize