my phone needs a breathalizer
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
you made out with another girl for some wings
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
