and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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