I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
