: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize