Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
