You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
