is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
