sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
