Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
