In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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