He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
