I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I think I sprained my soul last night
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
