I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
