I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
