Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
