Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
