get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My bed smells like the plague
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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