Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
