p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
