guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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