Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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