pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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