I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
