He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
