I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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