i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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