Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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