I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
