oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
