A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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