i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
