guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
