I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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