At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
