Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
