Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
