At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize