So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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