3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize