You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
