so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
