I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
