Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
