My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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