You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
