why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
