if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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