Betty ford says i'm here all night
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize