There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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