i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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