i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
