my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
soo... how was my night?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize