Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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