the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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