I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
